Funny Quotes About People Bad Mothing Thinking You Dont Know
Read this entire collection of funny inspirational quotes and sayings that will help you find the humor in everyday moments.
What are some of your favorite funny quotes about life?
Humor is a huge part of life.
With so many things outside of our control, sometimes the best move is to just laugh.
We can't change everything. We can't improve everything.
Some things we can't change, so we must change the way we see them.
Sometimes that perspective is found in the form of humor.
We curated this collection of quotes from comedians, writers, actors, and other thought leaders to help you laugh at the pain, laugh at the struggle, and laugh at the elephants in the room.
Make sure to let us know in the comment section, which quote(s) were your favorite.
Funny inspirational quotes for work and life
1. "I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific." – Lily Tomlin
2. "If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you." – Steven Wright
3. "I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book." – Groucho Marx
If you're enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of book quotes about the power of reading from your favorite authors.
4. "All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure." – Mark Twain
5. "If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else." – Yogi Berra
6. "There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep." – Ralph Waldo Emerson
7. "It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by then I was too famous." – Robert Benchley
Don't forget to also check out these pieces of life advice that can change your life.
8. "Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent." – Langston Coleman
9. "Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door." – Kyle Chandler
10. "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia." – Charles Schulz
Also, check out these witty quotes to sharpen your cleverness.
Funny inspirational quotes about life that will motivate you
And if you need some motivation to stay on your grind, be sure to check out our collection of hustle quotes.
11. "It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question." – Eugene Ionesco Decouvertes
12. "Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget tossing in the lifeboats." – Voltaire
13. "When I hear somebody sigh, Life is hard, I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'" – Sydney Harris
14. "The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs… one step at a time." – Joe Girard
15. "The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office." – Robert Frost
16. "We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing." – George Bernard Shaw
17. "The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up." – Mark Twain
18. "Age is of no importance unless you're a cheese." – Billie Burke
If you're enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of age quotes for the young and the young at heart.
19. "The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for." – Maureen Dowd
20. "It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong." – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Don't forget to also read these short inspiring quotes to fuel your day.
Funny inspirational quotes about life and career
21. "The key to success is not through achievement but through enthusiasm." – Malcolm Forbes
22. "I cannot afford to waste my time making money." – Louis Agassiz
23. "Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings." – Robert Bloch
If you're enjoying these quotes, you'll love our collection of inspirational quotes for friends to show just how much they mean to you.
24. "If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito." – Betty Reese
25. "The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits." – Albert Einstein
26. "Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back." – Oscar Wilde
27. "When you do not know what you are doing and what you are doing is the best – that is inspiration." – Robert Bresson
28. "My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already." – Dave Barry
29. "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." – A.A. Milne
30. "I didn't fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong." – Benjamin Franklin
Also, check out these thoughtful wallpaper quotes to inspire your life.
Funny Inspirational quotes for life
31. "Too much of a good thing can be wonderful." – Mae West
32. "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." – Thomas Edison
33. "You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club." – Jack London
34. "You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go." – Dr. Seuss
35. "There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?" - Kin Hubbard
36. "Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow." – Mark Twain
37. "Life is like a sewer – what you get out of it depends on what you put into it." – Tom Lehrer
38. "Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right." – Isaac Asimov
39. "Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor." – Truman Capote
40. "People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing; that's why we recommend it daily." – Zig Ziglar
If you're enjoying this article, you'll also love these great quotes about life, success, love and family.
Short funny quotes and sayings about work
41. "If you're going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now." – Marie Osmond
42. "I have a simple philosophy: Fill what is empty. Empty what is full. Scratch where it itches." – Alice Roosevelt Longworth
43. "Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes." – Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
44. "You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself." – Sam Levenson
45. "Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger." – Franklin P. Jones
46. "You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred." – Woody Allen
47. "Life is like a box of chocolates." – Forrest Gump
48. "Age is a very high price to pay for maturity." – Tom Stoppard
49. "Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them." – Andy Rooney
50. "In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back." – Charles Schulz
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More funny inspirational quotes and sayings
51. "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are."—Will Ferrell
52. "I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."—Rita Rudner
53. "When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway."—Erma Bombeck
54. "Never follow anyone else's path. Unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path."—Ellen DeGeneres
55. "I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."—Michael Scott, The Office
56. "You know you've reached middle age when you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police."—Joan Rivers
57. "Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts."—Lt. Frank Drebin
58. "I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own."—Les Dawson
59. "The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize."—Clairee Belcher, Steel Magnolias
If you're enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of monday motivation quotes to help you get the week started.
60. "I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them."—Phyllis Diller
Funny inspirational quotes to motivate you
61. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
– Thomas Edison
62. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? – George Carli
63. If you're going to be thinking, you may as well think big. – Donald Trump
64. My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. – Mitch Hedberg
65. "You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice." — Sam Levenson
66. "It's okay to look at the past and the future. Just don't stare." — Lisa Lieberman-Wang
67. Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. – Mark Twain
68. "I have to be successful because I like expensive things." — Lisa Lieberman-Wang
69. "Hating people is like burning down your own home to get rid of a rat." — Harry Emerson Fosdick
70. I am blessed with a funny gene that makes me enjoy life. – Karan Patel
Funny inspirational quotes for everyone
71. "Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were gonna do anyway." – Robert Downey Jr.
72. "Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom." – Terry Pratchett
73. "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." – George Carlin
If you're enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of George Carlin quotes to from the iconic comedian.
74. "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." – Albert Einstein
75. "I figured something out. The future is unpredictable." – John Green
76. "To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone." – Reba McEntire
77. "You grow up the day you have your first real laugh – at yourself." – Ethel Barrymore
78. "A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open." – Frank Zappa
79. "Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday." – Dale Carnegie
80. "Aspire to inspire before we expire." – Eugene Bell Jr
Funny inspirational quotes to enrich your day
81. "I was never really insane except upon occasions when my heart was touched." – Edgar Allan Poe
82. "Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!" – Dr. Seuss
83. "Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could."
– Charles J. Sykes
84. "By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day." – Robert Frost
Don't forget to also check out these motivational quotes of the day for daily rejuvenation.
85. "Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television." – Woody Allen
86. "Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished – If you're alive it isn't." – Richard Bach
87. "We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know." – W. H. Auden
88. "The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces." – Will Rogers
89. "Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it's more like a cha-cha." – Robert Brault
90. "Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." – Will Rogers
Funny inspirational quotes to uplift you every day
91. "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."– Abraham Lincoln
92. "Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."– Alan Dundes
93. "The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."– Andy Rooney
If you're enjoying these quotes, you'll love our collection of funny dog quotes to make you LOL with your furry best friends.
94. "If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else."
– Ann Landers
95. "The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper."– Bertrand Russell
96. "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."– Bernard Baruch
97. "The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us."– Bill Watterson
98. "Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem."– Bill Vaughan
99. "A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it."– Bob Hope
100. "A day without laughter is a day wasted."– Charlie Chaplin
If you're enjoying these quotes, make sure to check out our collection of laughter quotes proving why it's the best medicine.
Funny inspirational quotes about life and love
101. "They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning."– Clint Eastwood
102. "By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong."– Charles Wadsworth
103. "Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it."– Cullen Hightower
104. "If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you."– Billy Wilder
105. "I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection."– Drake
106. "Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."– Elbert Hubbard
107. "If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age."– George Burns
108. "I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they're cramming for their final exam." – George Carlin
109. "If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late."– Henny Youngman
110. "Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more."– James Thurber
Funny inspirational quotes to laugh about
111. "He who laughs last didn't get the joke."– Charles de Gaulle
112. "Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know."– Daniel J. Boorstin
113. "We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public."– Bryan White
114. "A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future."– Denis Waitley
115. "The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity."– Dorothy Parker
If you're enjoying these quotes, you'll love our collection of Dorothy Parker quotes that will help you uncover life's secrets.
116. "A woman is like a tea bag – you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water."– Eleanor Roosevelt
117. "Leave something for someone but dont leave someone for something."– Enid Blyton
118. "Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example."– Francois de La Rochefoucauld
119. "I'm in shape. Round is a shape."– George Carlin
120. "Haters are just confused admirers because they can't figure out the reason why everyone loves you."– Jeffree Star
If you're enjoying these quotes, make sure to check out our collection of confused quotes about the ups and downs of life.
Funny inspirational quotes that will make you laugh and think
121. "I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."– Ron White
122. "It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance."– Thomas Sowell
123. "Have no fear of perfection. You'll never reach it."– Salvador Dali
124. "Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do." – Voltaire
125. "I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their job."– Samuel Goldwyn
126. "Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition." – Marilyn Monroe
127. "You cannot be anything if you want to be everything." – Solomon Schechter
128. "The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." – Ayn Rand
129. "To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research."– Steven Wright
If you're enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of Steven Wright quotes to make you laugh.
130. "Live each day like it's your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night." – Jason Love
Funny inspirational quotes to make your day better
131. "It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?"– Ronald Reagan
132. "I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!"– Tom Lehrer
133. "A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on."– Samuel Goldwyn
134. "You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it." – Robin Williams
135. "If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?"– Scott Adams
136. "Trying is the first step toward failure." – Homer Simpson
137. "It does not matter whether you win or lose, what matters is whether I win or lose!"– Steven Weinberg
138. "If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito." – Betty Reese
139. "You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"– Steven Wright
140. "When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye." – Cathy Guisewite
Funny inspirational quotes to put a smile on your face
141. "The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you're finished." – Groucho Marx
142. "Today's opportunities erase yesterday's failures." – Gene Brown
143. "It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others." – Ashleigh Brilliant
144. "If you dig a grave for others you may fall into it yourself." – Irish Proverbs
145. "Life only delivers to people that create their own postal code." – Jelani Daniel
146. "See the world like a big wardrobe. Everybody has his own costume. There is only one that fits you perfectly." – George Harris
147. "Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy." – Charlie McCarthy
148. "The mind is like a clock that is constantly running down. It has to be wound up daily with good thoughts." – Fulton J. Sheen
149. "Cause your facial expression to change – smile." – Catherine Pulsifer
150. "Fire and swords are slow engines of destruction, compared to the tongue of a gossip." – Richard Steele
Don't forget to also check out these words of wisdom to bring out the best in you.
Funny inspirational quotes that will lift your mood
151. "The reward for good work is more work." – Francesca Elisia
152. "A man who correctly guesses a woman's age may be smart, but he's not very bright." – Lucille Ball
153. "Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there." — Will Rogers
154. "If you reach for a star, you might not get one. But you won't come up with a hand full of mud either." – Leo Burnett
155. "Well-behaved women seldom make history." – Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
156. "You can't experience simple joys when you're living life with your hair on fire." – Emily Ley
157. "A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory." – Mark Twain
158. "If your capacity to acquire has outstripped your capacity to enjoy, you are on the way to the scrap-heap." – Glen Buck
159. "Actually being funny is mostly telling the truth about things." – Bernard Sahlins
160. "I think you can destroy your now by worrying about tomorrow." – Janis Joplin
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Funny motivational quotes to uplift you
161. "If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?" – Albert Einstein
162. "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." – Bill Watterson
163. "Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one." – Terry Pratchett
164. "If you hit the target every time it's too near or too big." – Tom Hirshfield
165. "Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out." —John Wooden
166. "Life is a blank canvass, and you need to throw all the paint on it you can." – Danny Kaye
167. "Whoever said, 'It's not whether you win or lose that counts,' probably lost." – Martina Navratilova
168. "A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job." — Zig Ziglar
169. "Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing 'til it gets there." – Josh Billings
170. "There are no traffic jams along the extra mile." – Roger Staubach
You might also like these quotes on life lessons to help you move on.
Funny inspirational quotes that will make your day
171. "If we threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back." – Regina Brett
172. "Those are my principles, and if you don't like them… well, I have others." – Groucho Marx
173. "Life isn't finding shelter in the storm. It's about learning to dance in the rain." – Sherrilyn Kenyon
If you're enjoying these quotes, read our collection of dance quotes to help you find the perfect words about movement.
174. "Too often we visit the well of divine abundance with a teacup instead of a bucket." – Elinor MacDonald
175. "When everyone thinks alike, no one thinks very much." – Walter Lippmann
176. "What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say." – Ralph Waldo Emerson
177. "I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened." – Will Rogers
178. "The reason so few people are successful is no one has yet found a way for someone to sit down and slide uphill." – W. Clement Stone
179. "Complain a lot and people will hear you but not listen." – Catherine Pulsifer
180. "I believe in the discipline of silence, and could talk for hours about it."
– George Bernard Shaw
Funny inspirational quotes about life and happiness
181. "If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito." – Dalai Lama
182. "Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson
183. "A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks." – Charles Gordy
If you're enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of smile quotes to help keep a smile on your face.
184. "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." – Anais Nin
185. "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." – George Burns
186. "Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears." – Les Brown
187. "Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else." – Margaret Mead
188. "I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early." – Yogi Berra
189. "A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction." – Justin Sewell
190. "Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce." – Unknown
Funny inspirational quotes to keep you going forward
191. "Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can't laugh at yourself, Call me….I'll laugh at you." – Unknown
192. "The only place where your dreams become impossible is in your own thinking."– Robert H Shuller
193. "I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else."- Winston Churchill
194. "The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen." — Sarah Brown
195. "Change is not a four-letter word… but often your reaction to it is!" – Jeffrey Gitomer
196. "The trouble with the rat-race is that, even if you win, you're still a rat." – Lily Tomlin
197. "What is the difference between an obstacle and an opportunity? Our attitude toward it. Every opportunity has a difficult, and every difficulty has an opportunity."– J. Sidlow Baxter
If you're enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of opportunity quotes about making the most of a situation.
198. "There's power in looking silly and not caring that you do." – Amy Poehler
199. "You can, you should, and if you're brave enough to start, you will."
– Stephen King
200. "The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been." – Madeleine L'Engle
If you're enjoying these quotes, you'll love our collection of getting older quotes that will make you embrace the beauty in aging.
Hilarious and funny inspirational quotes
201. "Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost." – Ellen DeGeneres
202. "I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches." – Alice Roosevelt Longworth
203. "To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them." – Baron de Montesquieu
204. "I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time." – Marilyn Monroe
205. "A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject." – Winston Churchill
206. "The dumbest people I know are those who know it all." – Malcolm Forbes
207. "Don't let schooling interfere with your education." – Mark Twain
208. "When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half." – Gracie Allen
209. "I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know." – Mark Twain
210. "Good things come to those who initiate." – Susan RoAne
If you're enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of vine quotes that showcase some of the most hilarious moments from the short-lived site.
Funny inspirational quotes to lift your mood
211. "Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most fools do." –Benjamin Franklin
212. "If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman." – Margaret Thatcher
213. "An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh." – Will Rogers
214. "To think is easy. To act is hard. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking." – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
215. "Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively." – Dalai Lama
216. "A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them." –
Elbert Hubbard
217. "If you are not your own doctor, you are a fool." – Hippocrates
218. "Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle." – Bob Hope
219. "The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him." – Stanislaw Jerzy Lec
220. "If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough." –
Phyllis Diller
Funny inspirational quotes to brighten your day
221. "Taking an interest in what others are thinking and doing is often a much more powerful form of encouragement than praise." – Robert Martin
If you're enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of encouraging quotes to help keep you going.
222. "You're at your best when you don't know what you're doing." – Paul Stanley
223. "A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." – Steve Martin
224. "A good time for laughing is when you can." – Jessamyn West
225. "Focus, focus, focus! What am I, a telescope?" – Naruto Uzumaki
If you're enjoying these quotes, you'll love our collection of Naruto quotes about life, success and relationships.
226. "Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home." – Phyllis Diller
227. "I'll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that's probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess." – Cassandra Duffy
228. "Free your mind and your ass will follow." – George Clinton
229. "I'm not confused. I'm just well mixed." – Robert Frost
230. "If you don't know where you are, a map won't help." – Watts Humphrey
Funny inspirational quotes to uplift your spirit
231. "Change is not a four letter word… but often your reaction to it is!" – Jeffrey Gitomer
232. "Girls have got balls. They're just a little higher up, that's all." – Joan Jett
If you're enjoying this article, be sure to also check out our collection of inspirational pictures quotes that will help push you to keep moving forward.
233. "I intend to live forever. So far, so good." – Steven Wright
234. "I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock." – Henny Youngman
235. "If you fall, I'll always be there." – The Floor
236. "There's a little truth in all jive, and a little jive in all truth." – Leonard Barnes
237. "The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form." — Stanley J. Randall
238. "To do nothing is sometimes a good remedy." – Hippocrates
239. "When you're riding, only the race in which you're riding is important." – Bill Shoemaker
240. "People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing." – Will Rogers
241. "When life puts you in a tough situation, don't say 'Why me?', say 'Try me'." — Lisa Lieberman-Wang
242. "Where people aren't having fun, they seldom produce good work." – David Ogilvy
243. "Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood." —Bill Murray
245. "Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart." —Erma Bombeck
246. "My advice is not to wait to be struck by an idea. If you're a writer, you sit down and damn well decide to have an idea. That's the way to get an idea." —Andy Rooney
Don't forget to also check out our collection of quotes about having fun and enjoying your life.
Funny inspirational quotes about life and people
247. "All men are equal before fish." – Herbert Hoover
248. "Have you ever noticed that anybody driving faster than you is a maniac, and anyone going slower than you is a moron?" – George Carlin
249. "My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of other pessimists." – Jean Rostand
250. "Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else." – Will Rogers
251. "Life is hard. After all, it kills you." – Katharine Hepburn
252. "Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television." – David Letterman
253. "I am only human, although I regret it." – Mark Twain
254. "Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them." – Bill Maher
255. "I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives." – Ralph Waldo Emerson
256. "The road to success is always under construction." – Lily Tomlin
Funny inspirational quotes to make you laugh
257. "If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for like 8 years, you can believe in yourself for like 5 minutes." – Unknown
258. "The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind." – Unknown
259. "It's either me or my home. It seems both of us can't look good at the same time." – Unknown
260. "You never become a howling success by just howling." – Bob Harrington
261. "I stopped fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now." – Unknown
262. "I will always choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it." – Bill Gates
263. "They burned the bridge, then ask why I don't visit." – Unknown
264. "That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it." – George Carlin
265. "You don't always get what you wish for, you get what you work for." – Unknown
266. "Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." – Will Rogers
Funny motivational quotes about life and overcoming tough times
267. "Be happy, it drives people crazy." — Paulo Coelho
268. "Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, 'I'm not going to make it', but you laugh inside remembering all the times you've felt that way." — Charles Bukowski
269. "I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later." —Mitch Hedberg
270. "Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes." —Jack Handey
271. "When life brings big winds of change that almost blow you over, close your eyes, hang on tight, and believe." — Lisa Lieberman-Wang
272. "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society." – Mark Twain
273. "Kill them with success and bury them with a smile." – Unknown
274. "If you let your head get too big, it'll break your neck." — Elvis Presley
275. "Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious." — Og Mandino
276. "I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms." — Michael Scott, "The Office"
Funny inspirational quotes to lift your spirits
277. "A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists." – Don Marquis
278. "If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." – Johnny Carson
279. "If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?" – Abraham Lincoln
280. "Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway." – Gilbert Gottfried
281. "I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early." – Charles Lamb
282. "Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion." – Tina Fey
283. "When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick." – George Burns
284. "Don't keep a man guessing too long – he's sure to find the answer somewhere else." – Mae West
285. "Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money." – Jackie Mason
286. "If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?" – Milton Berle
Funny inspirational quotes that will brighten your day
287. "Bending beats breaking." ― Betty Greene
288. "Life is like homemade ice cream: sweet and seasonal. Enjoy it before it melts." – Unknown
289. "You can't crush ideas by suppressing them. You can only crush them by ignoring them. By refusing to think, refusing to change." ― Ursula K. Le Guin
290. "Family — the ties that bind … and gag!" – Erma Bombeck
291. "I've got 99 problems but I'm going for a run to ignore them all for an hour." – Unknown
292. "Life is like a cobweb, not an organization chart." – Ross Perot
293. "I don't run to add days to my life, I run to add life to my days." – Unknown
294. "The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life." – George Carlin
295. "All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed." – Sean O'Casey
Other funny inspirational quotes
296. "There are good days and there are bad days, and this is one of them." – Lawrence Welk
297. "If you want an interesting party, combine cocktails and a fresh box of crayons for everyone." —Robert Fulghum
298. "Hope is the dream of a waking man."– Aristotle
299. "I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter." —Unknown
300. "Deep breaths are very helpful at shallow parties." —Barbara Walters
301. "Always drink upstream from the herd." – Will Rogers
302. "May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions." —Joey Adams
303. "Delegating work works, provided the one delegating works, too." – Robert Half
304. "I can't believe it's been a year since I didn't become a better person." —Anonymous
305. "Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream." – Malcolm Muggeridge
Funny inspiration quotes that will motivate you while you giggle
306. "Bad decisions make good stories." — Ellis Vidler
307. "Think like a proton. Always positive." — Unknown
308. "Nothing is impossible, the word itself says "I'm possible!" — Audrey Hepburn
309. "A peacock that rests on his tail feathers is just another turkey." — Dolly Parton
310. "It's okay to look at the past and the future. Just don't stare." — Benjamin Dover
311. "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." — Winnie the Pooh
312. "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying." — Oscar Wilde
313. "I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened." — Will Rogers
314. "The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?" — Captain Jack Sparrow
315. "Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it." — Dwight D. Eisenhower
Funny motivational quotes about life to keep you moving forward
316. "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." – Thomas A. Edison
317. "Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in their heads turned up way too loud to hear it." – Brian Vaszily
318. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." – Oscar Wilde
319. "Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist." – Pablo Picasso
320. "If you're going through hell, keep going." – Winston Churchill
321. "If you hang out with chickens, you're going to cluck and if you hang out with eagles, you're going to fly." – Steve Maraboli
322. "Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight." – Phyllis Diller
323. "Life is like the stock market. Some days you're up. Some days you're down. And some days you feel like something the bull left behind." – Paula Wall
324. "The only time I don't have any problems in this world is when I am already six feet below the ground." – James Jason
325. "Try to be like the turtle – at ease in your own shell." – Bill Copeland
Funny motivational quotes to lighten your mood
326. "Do or do not. There is no try." — Yoda
327. "So long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire to not screw up, you're on the right track." — Ed Helms
328. "Don't do what you want. Do what you don't want. Do what you're trained not to want. Do the things that scare you the most." ― Chuck Palahniuk
329. "Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him."― Charles Dickens
330. "Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up." — Ann Bradford
331. "It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by then I was too famous." — Robert Benchley
332. "If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you." — Steven Wright
333. "My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine." — Caroline Rhea
334. "All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening." — Alexander Woollcott
335. "Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." — Erma Bombeck
Funny inspirational quotes to start the day
336. "You can't shine like a diamond, if you not willing to get cut like a diamond!" – Eric Thomas
337. "Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use." – Charles M. Schulz
338. "The only time I feel light-hearted is when I'm in a plane at 33,000 feet." – Robert Rivers
339. "If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room." – Confucius
340. "A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks." – Charles Gordy
341. "It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen." – Brigitte Bardot
342. "It is a common delusion that you can make things better by talking about them." – Rose MacAulay
343. "A laugh is a smile that bursts." – Mary H. Waldrip
344. "I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one." – Maya Angelou
345. "Some people die at twenty-five and aren't buried until they are seventy-five." – Benjamin Franklin
Which humorous and funny inspirational quotes were your favorite?
Humor is the spice of life. When we have a sense of humor, we look for the good in life, in other people and in ourselves.
Hopefully, these funny inspirational quotes will help you stay focused and stay loose. Keep them close to help make your journey through life more pleasurable.
Did you enjoy these funny inspirational quotes? What other funny motivational quotes about life would you add to the list? Tell us in the comment section below.
Source: https://everydaypower.com/funny-motivational-quotes-about-life/
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